For those that did not know or do not know, I recently moved out to Los Angeles, California in pursuit of a screenwriting career and a restart to my adult life. You’ve probably also noticed, those who follow my posts (if there’s anyone out there), that I also haven’t been as frequent with my posts on Film Fad. That of which can be attributed to a lot of things that have occurred over the past three months. From being dropped into a skittish and frantic living situation inside of a converted warehouse in Downtown Los Angeles to being stabbed by an insulin needle in a trash can while working at a movie theater, these past three months have kept me grounded outside of my own creative world.
That’s what I’m here to talk about to today, and also apologize for my absence.
Artists go through funks. Not every artist is going to have the same funks as the next, but before you date or develop some kind of relationship with one, just know there are funks, and they can be rather nasty. These funks might appear as depression, writer’s block, aggression, sadness, fear, shut-in syndrome, antisocialism, disconnection from the latest trends and news, and forgetfulness of all sorts of important adult responsibilities. Does an artist come out of a funk eventually? Why yes they do, but there’s no set timetable or kitchen timer that goes off when everything has come to a close. It’s unknown when a funk is going to open a window and jump out, falling to its much needed death, and I believe that’s the scariest part for the artist themselves.
The unknown is probably what everyone around the world fears the most, even if they claim to love “studying” it and finding answers to what will forever be questioned. It gets even scarier when the unknown has embodied itself within your creativity, especially when it’s the main source of your personality, pleasure, and existence. The unknown makes you forget reasons why you’ve done things like move out to California or worked hard for a Master’s degree. It makes you content with what you have and push away any drive to reach for higher goals. It makes you lazy, putting your craft on the shelf and letting it gather dust that blocks any kind of mastery that it holds. The unknown dust makes one reluctant about pulling the craft off the shelf and blowing away the particles, fearing you’ll never be able to make it shine and add more pages of masterful creations.
The first three months of my California existence has been riddled with the unknown. “That’s adult life. Always being in a void of unknown,” is what a friend told me after my fourth week of existing as a creatively choked shell. What my friend says is very true, and in no way is this post meant to translate into me complaining about being an adult… I’m too old for that. Yet, a void of unknown is different for an artist, just like it’s different for a doctor, lawyer, and CEO. I’m not saying one is more vicious than the other, but a void of unknown brought me to an all-time creative low these past three months, making me forget why I jumped off the ship named Virginia and how to write altogether. I know this is just a hiccup of a chapter in my creative endeavors, but I want personally apologize to all those out there that have been wondering where I’ve been on Film Fad. I haven’t been the greatest contributor to this great community as of late, but I’m here to tell you that will change.
Things have settled down for me in Los Angeles and have gotten more stable, allowing me to wipe away a bit of unknown dust and relocate some sort of path I need to tap dance along. My craft has been taken off the shelf and is awaiting my efforts to spit shine and add more pages. I’m back, baby, and when I’m not working so I can pay my bills, you’ll definitely find me on my computer or with my handy-dandy notebook, developing new concepts, stories, posts, and reviews for your entertainment and for the entertainment of those around the world.